Saturday, December 30, 2017

New Year's Resolutions

Funny story about this purse. Read below to find out

          It's that time of year again! The time that I make my New Year's Resolutions. Except for the bitter cold that usually accompanies January. I love that a brand new year. It equals a blank slate to start all over.

Here are my New Year's Resolutions!

1. Make God a priority and less of an afterthought. (Should have
    been first in the first place)

2. Continue what I have been doing with diet and exercise.
    Come back in six weeks to read my blog about in mid

3. Work on organizing my stuff. Take one room item and
     organize it. That is also something that I have been
     working on in the last part of 2017.

The funny story that goes with that purse pictured above.
I bought that two years ago, from Zulily. Or some such website.
I bought two. A larger black one for the fall. Had every intention to carry the above pictured one in the spring.
Spring rolls around and I cannot find it anywhere. Searching high and low. So, two years later. (Yes I am sloppy and disorganized)
I really buckle down and work on getting organized.
That purse has been in the back of my mind ever since it was lost.
On the very day. I start organizing. I'm thinking about it. Thinking about places it could possibly be.
I walk in my closet to start. Then pause and look down. What is slightly poking out of a reusable grocery bag?
That Danny Bear bag! It has been there the entire time. Just shook my head. I cannot believe it myself.
          I am not a slob. Not by any means. There are no unused food dishes in my bedroom. Those get taken down to the kitchen right away. I am just messy and disorganized.

4. More joy and less negativity. You have no idea how hard this is

5. Less negativity about the people around me. Including celebrities
    and fauxlebrities. You have no idea how hard this is.

6. Less negativity about the people in my past. I am going to try
    and live by the phrase. If you don't have anything nice to say.
    come sit by me. Don't say anything at all. By you, I mean me.

7. Read more and I don't mean Facebook. I mean real books

8. I'm also going to get my nose pierced. Well with all self

    reflection. I need to do something fun.
    (hmmmm Second thoughts on the nose piercing. If that is the
      only resolution I break. I am doing good)

Check back in eight weeks and see if any of the resolutions have been kept! I guess that would be around the first of March
(Change that to mid March)
Happy New Year!
WOW! 2018!

~This is just my .02 cents. Not sure that it is even worth that much.~

Tuesday, November 7, 2017


         Weight loss from October 3rd to November 7th has been four pounds.
     How? Tracking my calories using Spark People. Exercising four to five times per week. With an ancient bicycle and strength and tone bands from Walmart for $15. I cleaned up my diet. I eat more whole foods. Leaning more towards a plant based diet. Can't say I will never eat meat again. Never is a long time.
     I also weigh myself three times a week. Realizing that this doesn't work for some. The scale isn't my enemy. It is only a tool that tells me my weight. After hearing many times to ditch the scale. Go by how my clothes fit. I have many sizes of clothes. And have already gained five pounds by the time my jeans don't fit. So that doesn't work for me.
Left 10/3 144.4
Right 11/7 140.2

      I am also very glad to announce. It has been 36 days since my last binge. Even with some very stressful situations that have left me in tears. No chemical substance can cure my problems. Only God can do that!  I weigh myself three times a week. The scale isn't my enemy. It is only a tool that determines my weight. Won't throw it out. Won't use my clothes. By the time my jeans won't zip. I have already gained five pounds.
I can see a little bit of progress!

     This is a big weekend coming up. Don't want to undo all my progress. In one weekend. Working on finding balance. Between big events and staying on a healthy track. Had a previous event. Where I did pretty good. I could have done better. Won't feel guilty because of it. As a wonderful Spark Member said, Guilt burns no calories.
I never noticed I have chicken wings
One day I will not have them!
And I'll get rid of the back fat, too!
    Coming soon. Thanksgiving, Christmas and all the indulgences that comes with them.  Buckling down and staying serious. I can still lose weight. Done it before, can do it again! Must remember that these are holiDAYS and not holiMONTHS. Another wonderful saying from a Spark member. With a couple parties thrown in. Going to find the balance.  

    Next week I begin my new exercise program. Changing it up every six weeks. Keeps me from getting bored.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

My Progress..........

      My progress has been......well very little progress. It is hard to admit.   There has been one non scale victory! An inch off of my waist. That is good right? Even though I have been struggling with the same four pounds since July.
Started out at 10/3 at 144.4

The biggest problem is using food for comfort. Yes I know, it should be God and Jesus. Prayer and [not] corn chips should be my solace. Comforting with food has been my refuge as long as I can remember. 
There have been so many stressful events this summer. Just one thing right after another. Get over one event and then something else happens. My companion has been a constant feeling of dread.  The calm before the storm has only lasted so long. In the past. Not being able to know when or how the other shoe is going to drop. Or if it is even going to drop. Is causing mounds of anxiety. My sweet little elderly terrier. Is empathetic and feeds off of my anxiety.

Mandie my sweet elderly terrier
Who seems to be an empath
and feeds off of my anxiety

I know that worry is a thief and it only takes. Stealing my life away. Plus comfort eating doesn't work. Eat a whole bag of corn chips. It might feel good while it's happening. When the corn chips are done the problem is still there. You feel so much worse. On top of it. Yet I still succumb to the dreaded comfort eating. Although, I am becoming better, slowly. Putting this knowledge into practice. That is the challenge.
Not styling my hair. Just so that I can sweat it back down
with exercise

So anyway keep on keeping on. I know what works now and what doesn't. I have been working on cleaning up my diet. I know that low carb and sugar free don't work. Strict diets don't work. Can't stick with them. Artificial sweeteners just make me hungry hangry and you wouldn't like me when I am hangry. Those artificial natural zero calorie sweeteners. Give me cramps and diarrhea. Especially when they contain sugar alcohol. Sorry to be so blunt, but keeping it real. These work for some. Strict diets. Diets where certain foods are off limits. If anything is forbidden. Like eating pancakes for dinner. That will eventually trigger a binge. As sure as the sun sets.
If any of this works for you, Great!

Can I make a joke about Back Boobs right now?


Still not giving up. Still going to hang in there. Even though it means clutching at the door casings. As I am dragged out. Even though results have been nothing like I hoped. Sadly, I weigh more than when I started back in January.
It is sad when you have to put marbles back in the jar

Tuesday, August 8, 2017


     I got to put another marble in the Progress Jar. Now at 140 lbs. Just one pound above where I started in January! Next blog will be at 135 lbs. I will post a progress picture. I know you're all waiting with baited breath. For that one!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

I Haven't Given Up!

     There hasn't been a blog in a while, but haven't given up! Before going on Vacation in June. I had finally gotten down to 140 lbs. Then went on a lovely trip to visit family. After arrivng home and weighing! I was so excited because I had only gained .09 of a pound! Then there was a major setback and gained five pounds. At 145 lbs that was my highest weight in ten years. My biggest adversary is binge eating. Then I had to make a choice. Would all the weight that had been lost over ten years ago. Be gained back? (ten years ago, I weighed 160lbs) Or would this whole scale creeping up thing. Be gotten under control. And work to lose the weight again? My choice was to lose the weight again.

     As previously stated my biggest nemesis is binge eating. It happens when depressed or stressed. The last couple binges. The ones that caused my sharp weight increase. Were just because. No really good reason. Just because I could. Didn't make one lick of sense. I knew what the outcome would be while shoving my face full of food. Binges don't always make sense. One knows what the outcome will be, but does it anyway.

     From now on, I'm only going to blog. At every five pounds
Another blog at 140
Progress Picture at 135

It's a very sad day
when you have to remove the marbles from your
progress jar 

Even though this picture was taken in May!
This is what yours truly looks like currently!
At 145 lbs 😭

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

June Results!

           These are the results for June. The weigh in for May was 143.3 and weigh in for June is 141.8. A loss of 1.7 lbs. I achieved this by using a mix of Spark People and the old Weight Watchers Points Plus. With Points Plus. I didn't necessarily stick to 26 points a day. I tried to stay in the 26-30 point range. It is okay if my points are over thirty. Just don't want them too far over thirty.

May 143.3 and June 141.8
Slow and steady wins the race
I refuse to use diet products to win that race

           When I started doing this I was at 139. Now my weight is like a pin ball just bouncing around. Trying to get back to 139 and stop the bouncing around. Yes weight fluctuates from day to day. I just want it to fluctuate on the downward. Soon I will be taking a picture of 139. Then taking a picture when there is a greater weight loss.

          This isn't for everyone. Personally, I weigh myself everyday. That helps me to stay on track. Then again, I realize that my weight will fluctuate and it doesn't upset me when that happens. If you step on the scale. And normal fluctuation from one day to another is devastating. Then weighing everyday. Is probably not a good idea for you.

My first goal is to get to 139 and under
Without the constant bouncing back and

          Telling someone just starting out. You have to find the keys that unlock your health. Yours may be vastly different from mine. I am not going to pretend like my diet is superior. Which honestly it's not. If it were though. I wouldn't act like me and my diet were so superior to you and your diet. I dislike people that do that. It's like when they lose the weight. They get amnesia and forget they were once in the same place.

          Isn't this just the cutest idea? Must give Spark People credit. I would have never thought of it. I got the jars from TJ Maxx (I heart Pineapples) The marbles came from Amazon. The large marbles represent pounds. The smaller marbles represent ounces.
A cute idea that I got from Spark People
As I lose weight I move the marbles to the jar on
the right
          I would have done this last week. My period and water weight gain, said ummm no! Although I don't mind getting my period. I am not going to complain. The water weight gain? Not so much!
June 2017 141.8

June 2017 141.8

June 2017 141.8

          I have been working on my exercise goals. Not quite there yet. Not anywhere near my goals yet. Refuse to give up!

Monday, May 1, 2017

May Results! No Longer the Ugly Truth!

          Getting these progress pictures was so difficult. It was like pulling teeth. So I'm only going to post monthly pictures and not weekly. If I could be honest! I am not very motivated, but I'm not giving up! I won't give up, but I just can't seem to get motivated. I feel unmotivated and irritated. This free blog site isn't helping one bit. With the irritation.


          A day trip to the beach. Which was absolutely wonderful. Resulted in eating a lot of yummy food. That wasn't at all good for me. Which resulted in a significant weight gain. I now weigh 143.3.

          So esessentially, I am starting again. All over again. 

          In the blog world. There's always a pressure to be always positive. Always be perfect. Always talk about how much you love exercise and healthy eating. Then there's my blog and I will always tell you the truth.

          I will tell you how it's hard and you may not feel motivated. Now I need to close, save and publish this blog before I get really upset. I'm thankful for this free blog but, it's worth every penny. Which isn't much. It's pretty obnoxious in fact. With its cursor jumping all over the place. Deleting pictures, when I don't want them deleted. Changing the font in mid sentence.

I won't endorse weight loss products. Ads should never be seen as an endorsement.

This is my journey. I'm not a doctor. Visit your healthcare proffesionals before starting your journey. blah, blah, blah you know the drill

Monday, April 24, 2017

Ugly Truth! Week Sixteen! Goals!

          Today is a good day to start again! My goals, besides losing fifteen pounds, give or take. Are to be able to do a full push up. To be able to hold a full plank for a minute. To be able to do a side plank. Not the modified version. Even though there is nothing wrong with the modified version. I just want to be a able to do a full one.

           I am currently 141.5 lbs. I can do wall pushups. Barely do a full push up. Barely do a modified push up. The modified ones are hard as well. Hold a full and not modified plank for thirty seconds. Can do the modified for thirty seconds as well. Can't do a side plank at all. Can't do the modified side plank. All I can do of a side plank is, sit there with my butt on the ground and engage my core. What I learned in Pilates many, many years ago. If you can't do the exercise yet. Or even the modified version. Sit there with proper posture and engage your core. 

         Didn't do great this weekend. Sort of went off the rails, with my eating. Since food is good and diet food isn't. It is really hard to make good choices at restaurants. Most of the time. You see the regular menu and yummy! Then look at the diet menu. The diet menu isn't appetizing. If I wanted to eat shriveled up chicken breast with a side of overcooked spinach. I could have stayed home. Just kidding I am a good cook and would never prepare anything so nasty looking or tasting.


Bloated! so I feel like any progress is hidden
by the bloating.

         Even though the food choices weren't that great. I exercised four days last week. Skipped Thursday and Saturday, but did better than I had the previous two weeks. I figured out why I was so unmotivated with exercise. I was bored. It is so easy to get bored. So that made me change my program completely and now feel the burn. 

Progress comes slowly.
It was a workout in itself to get this garment fastened.

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I will delete and block any spammer. Count on it!

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**

Monday, April 17, 2017

Ugly Truth! Week Fifteen! Holiday Motivation Where Art Thou?

          Last week there was no motivation to be found.  None anywhere. I exercised one day and didn't record my food. The week before was quite similar. I think that I at least exercised, April 3-8th. Even if I didn't record my food.

Current Week Fifteen!
Week Thirteen Internetz broke no back up plan
Week Fourteen lazy and no motivation

As a result I am 143.1
The most I have weighed in three years.

Back on track with Week Fifteen!

          Oh I remember!  On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, the 6th through 8th. My innanetz was down. So no music or You Tube. Or Place to record my food. Made me realize. When something like that happens. A back up plan is what is needed. I need to get some old school CD's and print out some workouts.

        On April 10th. Internetz was back up. I exercised on April 10th. Lost all motivation to do anything remotely healthy, April 11th-16th. As you all know, the 16th was Easter. Also known as Resurrection Sunday. The Super Bowl of Christianity. And we eat too. Oh wow! Did I eat!

        So I am back and not giving up. Even with this small set back. I will use my error to figure out what needs to done differently. Not giving up.

         My hope is that your takeaway from this blog. Even if you lose your way. For a week or two or more. You can find your way back. You have only failed when you give up completely. If you find your way back. Then you haven't failed!

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I will delete and block any spammer. Count on it!

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**

Monday, April 3, 2017

The Ugly Truth! Week Thirteen! The Blog!

          Writing this blog. Has taught me a lot. This blog is attempting to teach me patience. What can I say? It's a free blog. You get what you pay for. That is why my results pictures are on another blog. Just in case you were wondering. Not going to bore you with all the gory details. If you want to see the results. It is the blog before this one. Ugly Truth! Week Thirteen! The results! I used Week Two instead of Week One. For the comparison. 

        Today I planted a rose bush. It is called Twilight Zone. Planting this rose bush was difficult. I still don't have that much upper body strength. So my modus operandi. It was so hard to plant this rose bush. This is going to be my exercise, for the day. That is exactly what I used to always do. It is rather hard to plant stuff. While trying to plant this rose bush. I was thinking that, this is the reason you never see an overweight landscaper. This is hard work.

Doesn't look like much now
It will soon!

          If you always do. What you have always done. Then you will always get what you have always got.  That quote has been attributed to; Henry Ford and Anthony Robbins

          With Week Thirteen, I begin a brand new cycle. Where exercise has been changed. My diet will be improved on. Two weeks ago I ate a bacon cheeseburger. It wasn't that great.  Food that used to be loved, is no longer that great. Not saying that I will never eat another bacon cheeseburger. I will think long and hard before I do. Hopefully in twelve more weeks. I will have even better progress pictures.

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I will delete and block any spammer. Count on it!

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**

Ugly Truth! Week Thirteen! The Results


Monday, March 27, 2017

The Ugly Truth! Week Twelve! Thank You So Much!

          I want to give a big Thank You! To everyone who has read my blog. Everyone who has cheered me on and everyone who has sent me well wishes. I really appreciate it! More than you know!

140.4 this week
So a gain, Heavy sigh!

          This week is the end of the first cycle. Next week begins a new one. Hoping to get off of the gain loss roller coaster. And get on the path to weight loss. The path to healthy weight loss. Eating the right amount of calories. Not starving myself. Definitely avoiding the use of weight loss supplements.

Is it just wishful thinking?
Or do I actually see some

          The weather has warmed up beautifully. The sun is shining right now. Can no longer use weather as an excuse. Not that it was ever a good excuse. In the first place. 

Progress and not perfection
At least that is what I keep
telling myself!

          I just can't stop saying Thank You! Thank You for coming with me this far. Stick with me! One day I will have awesome after pictures. Not just progress pictures!

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I will delete and block any spammer. Count on it!

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**


Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Ugly Truth; Week Eleven! Triggered by Winter! 😂

          Last week's snow didn't amount to much. Cold weather had me down. The weather was horrible and not just cold. It was frigid cold. I would take the dogs out in snow pants and a ski jacket. The wind and cold would penetrate them. Then the weather improved. It is going back to hideous frigid cold, tomorrow. Thankfully the hateful stuff will only last two days. I will let you know if I survive without binging and emotional eating. Cold weather always makes me so down.

140.7 Last Week
138.7 This Week

          My thoughts used to be this way. That we could have one week of winter. We could have one big snow storm. Now I think winter can go hang. It can just go away. And never, ever come back. After all it had six months to get it's stuff together. So it can just go away!

Didn't feel good in the morning.
Because of my menstrual cycle.
Felt better in the evening so I

          I am sorry that this blog isn't the usual happy and positive blog. I am a huge ball of emotions. I feel gross and bloated . I'm in a horrific mood at the thought of the approaching weather. I mean seriously! Winter is like that obnoxious pest of a houseguest that just cannot get a clue. Go away already! I would rather be real and authentic than fake happy. Fake happy people are more obnoxious than winter.

I guess this will be the last place that
I see results.

          So we shall see.....tune in next week. The weather will be better and I am sure that my mood will be better, too.

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I had to delete and block a spammer last week.

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**

Monday, March 13, 2017

Ugly Truth! Week Ten! Snow! Oh No!

          So here we are. Those of us in the Northeast. Waiting on this supposed big snow storm that is supposed to come our way. Working hard on silencing my typing fingers. Planning to keep this blog positive. This isn't going to become a woe is me, I despise snow, blog. Even though I do. It is quite an exercise in self control. Who wishes that exercising self control could burn calories? Raises hand! That would make it more worthwhile.

          I predict. That we will get little to no snow. Even if it is only wishful thinking. Normally I would be so stressed about the pending snow. That it would be used as an excuse to avoid my daily exercise. So proud of myself, no excuses, exercised today. I even started a new exercise routine.

     Currently at peace with this storm. Come what may. Which is hopefully rain, but not freezing. I will be wearing my pajamas right side out. To make the snow go away. Go far, far away. My thoughts and prayers go out to the people to the north of me. They don't need this nasty stuff either.

This Week 140.7
Last Week 137.6

          This weeks weight gain brought to you by, a second burst of Winter.
The weather had been gorgeous and beautiful. Then on Friday, the bottom fell out. When it is really cold outside. My brain goes into hibernation mode and I stuff my face. That is also what happened last week on my birthday. The weather was beautiful and then we got a cold snap. Which caused me to eat myself out of house and home. Really need to find a way to cope with weather changes.

I Still like to imagine that I am
seeing progress in the mirror.

          Isn't that the way life works though? Everything is wonderful and beautiful. Then the bottom drops out. It becomes a baron wasteland of cold and yuck. You can't see your way through. I will survive this bitter cold snap. Even though I will complain about it incessantly on Facebook and Twitter. (sorry friends and followers, LOL!)

This really is my back.
Like a busted can of biscuits

UPDATE: We received about three inches of snow from this storm. My thoughts and prayers go to those North of me. That got dumped on.

If anyone posts advertising spam in the comments. And I don't catch it. Please let me know so that I can block that user and delete their comment. Thanks so much

    As always. If an ad for a weight loss product appears on my blog. It should NEVER be considered an endorsement. Unless it is Spark People or Weight Watchers. I love Spark People. Rather lukewarm about WW, but they can work for some people.

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are my own. This is my journey as I see it. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. If you plan to start your own journey. You should consult your medical professionals. **DISCLAIMER**