Tuesday, November 7, 2017


         Weight loss from October 3rd to November 7th has been four pounds.
     How? Tracking my calories using Spark People. Exercising four to five times per week. With an ancient bicycle and strength and tone bands from Walmart for $15. I cleaned up my diet. I eat more whole foods. Leaning more towards a plant based diet. Can't say I will never eat meat again. Never is a long time.
     I also weigh myself three times a week. Realizing that this doesn't work for some. The scale isn't my enemy. It is only a tool that tells me my weight. After hearing many times to ditch the scale. Go by how my clothes fit. I have many sizes of clothes. And have already gained five pounds by the time my jeans don't fit. So that doesn't work for me.
Left 10/3 144.4
Right 11/7 140.2

      I am also very glad to announce. It has been 36 days since my last binge. Even with some very stressful situations that have left me in tears. No chemical substance can cure my problems. Only God can do that!  I weigh myself three times a week. The scale isn't my enemy. It is only a tool that determines my weight. Won't throw it out. Won't use my clothes. By the time my jeans won't zip. I have already gained five pounds.
I can see a little bit of progress!

     This is a big weekend coming up. Don't want to undo all my progress. In one weekend. Working on finding balance. Between big events and staying on a healthy track. Had a previous event. Where I did pretty good. I could have done better. Won't feel guilty because of it. As a wonderful Spark Member said, Guilt burns no calories.
I never noticed I have chicken wings
One day I will not have them!
And I'll get rid of the back fat, too!
    Coming soon. Thanksgiving, Christmas and all the indulgences that comes with them.  Buckling down and staying serious. I can still lose weight. Done it before, can do it again! Must remember that these are holiDAYS and not holiMONTHS. Another wonderful saying from a Spark member. With a couple parties thrown in. Going to find the balance.  

    Next week I begin my new exercise program. Changing it up every six weeks. Keeps me from getting bored.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

My Progress..........

      My progress has been......well very little progress. It is hard to admit.   There has been one non scale victory! An inch off of my waist. That is good right? Even though I have been struggling with the same four pounds since July.
Started out at 10/3 at 144.4

The biggest problem is using food for comfort. Yes I know, it should be God and Jesus. Prayer and [not] corn chips should be my solace. Comforting with food has been my refuge as long as I can remember. 
There have been so many stressful events this summer. Just one thing right after another. Get over one event and then something else happens. My companion has been a constant feeling of dread.  The calm before the storm has only lasted so long. In the past. Not being able to know when or how the other shoe is going to drop. Or if it is even going to drop. Is causing mounds of anxiety. My sweet little elderly terrier. Is empathetic and feeds off of my anxiety.

Mandie my sweet elderly terrier
Who seems to be an empath
and feeds off of my anxiety

I know that worry is a thief and it only takes. Stealing my life away. Plus comfort eating doesn't work. Eat a whole bag of corn chips. It might feel good while it's happening. When the corn chips are done the problem is still there. You feel so much worse. On top of it. Yet I still succumb to the dreaded comfort eating. Although, I am becoming better, slowly. Putting this knowledge into practice. That is the challenge.
Not styling my hair. Just so that I can sweat it back down
with exercise

So anyway keep on keeping on. I know what works now and what doesn't. I have been working on cleaning up my diet. I know that low carb and sugar free don't work. Strict diets don't work. Can't stick with them. Artificial sweeteners just make me hungry hangry and you wouldn't like me when I am hangry. Those artificial natural zero calorie sweeteners. Give me cramps and diarrhea. Especially when they contain sugar alcohol. Sorry to be so blunt, but keeping it real. These work for some. Strict diets. Diets where certain foods are off limits. If anything is forbidden. Like eating pancakes for dinner. That will eventually trigger a binge. As sure as the sun sets.
If any of this works for you, Great!

Can I make a joke about Back Boobs right now?


Still not giving up. Still going to hang in there. Even though it means clutching at the door casings. As I am dragged out. Even though results have been nothing like I hoped. Sadly, I weigh more than when I started back in January.
It is sad when you have to put marbles back in the jar

Tuesday, August 8, 2017


     I got to put another marble in the Progress Jar. Now at 140 lbs. Just one pound above where I started in January! Next blog will be at 135 lbs. I will post a progress picture. I know you're all waiting with baited breath. For that one!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

I Haven't Given Up!

     There hasn't been a blog in a while, but haven't given up! Before going on Vacation in June. I had finally gotten down to 140 lbs. Then went on a lovely trip to visit family. After arrivng home and weighing! I was so excited because I had only gained .09 of a pound! Then there was a major setback and gained five pounds. At 145 lbs that was my highest weight in ten years. My biggest adversary is binge eating. Then I had to make a choice. Would all the weight that had been lost over ten years ago. Be gained back? (ten years ago, I weighed 160lbs) Or would this whole scale creeping up thing. Be gotten under control. And work to lose the weight again? My choice was to lose the weight again.

     As previously stated my biggest nemesis is binge eating. It happens when depressed or stressed. The last couple binges. The ones that caused my sharp weight increase. Were just because. No really good reason. Just because I could. Didn't make one lick of sense. I knew what the outcome would be while shoving my face full of food. Binges don't always make sense. One knows what the outcome will be, but does it anyway.

     From now on, I'm only going to blog. At every five pounds
Another blog at 140
Progress Picture at 135

It's a very sad day
when you have to remove the marbles from your
progress jar 

Even though this picture was taken in May!
This is what yours truly looks like currently!
At 145 lbs 😭

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

June Results!

           These are the results for June. The weigh in for May was 143.3 and weigh in for June is 141.8. A loss of 1.7 lbs. I achieved this by using a mix of Spark People and the old Weight Watchers Points Plus. With Points Plus. I didn't necessarily stick to 26 points a day. I tried to stay in the 26-30 point range. It is okay if my points are over thirty. Just don't want them too far over thirty.

May 143.3 and June 141.8
Slow and steady wins the race
I refuse to use diet products to win that race

           When I started doing this I was at 139. Now my weight is like a pin ball just bouncing around. Trying to get back to 139 and stop the bouncing around. Yes weight fluctuates from day to day. I just want it to fluctuate on the downward. Soon I will be taking a picture of 139. Then taking a picture when there is a greater weight loss.

          This isn't for everyone. Personally, I weigh myself everyday. That helps me to stay on track. Then again, I realize that my weight will fluctuate and it doesn't upset me when that happens. If you step on the scale. And normal fluctuation from one day to another is devastating. Then weighing everyday. Is probably not a good idea for you.

My first goal is to get to 139 and under
Without the constant bouncing back and

          Telling someone just starting out. You have to find the keys that unlock your health. Yours may be vastly different from mine. I am not going to pretend like my diet is superior. Which honestly it's not. If it were though. I wouldn't act like me and my diet were so superior to you and your diet. I dislike people that do that. It's like when they lose the weight. They get amnesia and forget they were once in the same place.

          Isn't this just the cutest idea? Must give Spark People credit. I would have never thought of it. I got the jars from TJ Maxx (I heart Pineapples) The marbles came from Amazon. The large marbles represent pounds. The smaller marbles represent ounces.
A cute idea that I got from Spark People
As I lose weight I move the marbles to the jar on
the right
          I would have done this last week. My period and water weight gain, said ummm no! Although I don't mind getting my period. I am not going to complain. The water weight gain? Not so much!
June 2017 141.8

June 2017 141.8

June 2017 141.8

          I have been working on my exercise goals. Not quite there yet. Not anywhere near my goals yet. Refuse to give up!

Monday, May 1, 2017

May Results! No Longer the Ugly Truth!

          Getting these progress pictures was so difficult. It was like pulling teeth. So I'm only going to post monthly pictures and not weekly. If I could be honest! I am not very motivated, but I'm not giving up! I won't give up, but I just can't seem to get motivated. I feel unmotivated and irritated. This free blog site isn't helping one bit. With the irritation.


          A day trip to the beach. Which was absolutely wonderful. Resulted in eating a lot of yummy food. That wasn't at all good for me. Which resulted in a significant weight gain. I now weigh 143.3.

          So esessentially, I am starting again. All over again. 

          In the blog world. There's always a pressure to be always positive. Always be perfect. Always talk about how much you love exercise and healthy eating. Then there's my blog and I will always tell you the truth.

          I will tell you how it's hard and you may not feel motivated. Now I need to close, save and publish this blog before I get really upset. I'm thankful for this free blog but, it's worth every penny. Which isn't much. It's pretty obnoxious in fact. With its cursor jumping all over the place. Deleting pictures, when I don't want them deleted. Changing the font in mid sentence.

I won't endorse weight loss products. Ads should never be seen as an endorsement.

This is my journey. I'm not a doctor. Visit your healthcare proffesionals before starting your journey. blah, blah, blah you know the drill

Monday, April 24, 2017

Ugly Truth! Week Sixteen! Goals!

          Today is a good day to start again! My goals, besides losing fifteen pounds, give or take. Are to be able to do a full push up. To be able to hold a full plank for a minute. To be able to do a side plank. Not the modified version. Even though there is nothing wrong with the modified version. I just want to be a able to do a full one.

           I am currently 141.5 lbs. I can do wall pushups. Barely do a full push up. Barely do a modified push up. The modified ones are hard as well. Hold a full and not modified plank for thirty seconds. Can do the modified for thirty seconds as well. Can't do a side plank at all. Can't do the modified side plank. All I can do of a side plank is, sit there with my butt on the ground and engage my core. What I learned in Pilates many, many years ago. If you can't do the exercise yet. Or even the modified version. Sit there with proper posture and engage your core. 

         Didn't do great this weekend. Sort of went off the rails, with my eating. Since food is good and diet food isn't. It is really hard to make good choices at restaurants. Most of the time. You see the regular menu and yummy! Then look at the diet menu. The diet menu isn't appetizing. If I wanted to eat shriveled up chicken breast with a side of overcooked spinach. I could have stayed home. Just kidding I am a good cook and would never prepare anything so nasty looking or tasting.


Bloated! so I feel like any progress is hidden
by the bloating.

         Even though the food choices weren't that great. I exercised four days last week. Skipped Thursday and Saturday, but did better than I had the previous two weeks. I figured out why I was so unmotivated with exercise. I was bored. It is so easy to get bored. So that made me change my program completely and now feel the burn. 

Progress comes slowly.
It was a workout in itself to get this garment fastened.

As always, if you see any diet product advertisers or spam sites on my blog. That should NEVER be considered an endorsement. I will delete and block any spammer. Count on it!

**DISCLAIMER** The opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. This is my journey. I am neither a doctor nor a dietitian. Which you should consult before you begin any healthy journey **DISCLAIMER**