Thursday, February 19, 2015

A Lady and Her Yoga Pants; A Love Story

     Once upon a time. In a land not so far away. There was a Lady. Her family had betrothed her to Jeans, but more often than not. Jeans had teased her and left her in tears. They never fit her properly. Especially at the clothing store in front of everyone. The Jeans seemed to take a malicious joy in upsetting her. And every twenty eight days or when she had fast food. The Jeans mocked her cruelly.

       Feeling low on a shopping trip. She walked into the athletic section. And that's where she met Yoga Pants. She tried on the Yoga Pants and spun around. She had finally found true love! The Lady and her Yoga Pants went every where. They went out to eat. To the grocery store. And believe it or not, they sometimes even went to yoga.

      Alas, the Lady's happiness did not last. She had an evil Twin Sister. The Twin Sister was always scheming to destroy the Lady and her Yoga Pants. So one day the evil one told the Jeans why they were abandoned in the dresser drawer. Together they went to call on the Prince of the County. All three conspired that Yoga Pants should be banished forever from the Lady's closet. And if the Lady was ever caught out in public with her beloved Yoga Pants. She would be thrown into a deepest darkest dungeon for many years and charged a hefty fine. 

      The People of the land. Heard of the Lady's plight. And how the Prince and the Evil Twin planned to banish Yoga Pants and the Lady to a deep dark dungeon. The People went to the King and Queen of the County and told them about these wicked plans. The King and Queen also thought that the law was absolutely ridiculous. And put a stop to it immediately. They also declared the Lady's birthday as The Official Yoga Pants Day. With a huge feast and street festival. Where the price of admission, even for the guys, was donning a pair of yoga pants. And the Lady and her Yoga Pants lived in comfort, Happily Ever After!

     Yes this story is satire and it is ridiculous. What is more ridiculous is that it's true. There is someone who makes laws. He wants to ban yoga pants!

     Fortunately for everyone with common sense. The bill is not going anywhere. I may not wear yoga pants that often. I don't want to take away anyone's right to wear them. It is a slippery slope when the government can legislate what kind of pants we can and can't wear. I think it is silly looking to wear pajama pants out in public. I would never try to get them banned. 

Wearing Yoga Pants, or even pajama pants. If that is what makes you comfortable, is fabulous. Preserving our personal freedoms is also fabulous!

Olivia hacking up a lung at the prospect of any woman losing their beloved yoga pants





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